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10 struggles of being a lazy perfectionist

Lazy perfectionist – bit of an oxymoron, right? But it is a thing, I promise, and it is me to a T – ‘all or nothing’ might as well be my second name. I’m obsessed with perfection, but can’t quite get myself together enough to strive for it…

And this is the thing – if it’s not going to be perfect, I don’t want to do it. For example, when I clean my room, I have to do EVERYTHING – a huge clearout, sorting of absolutely everything, hoovering, polishing, moving every piece of furniture so that I have caught every piece of dirt… And once all that is done, I’ll be quite happy (I’m never totally satisfied) but it will have taken up the whole of my weekend.

Now, as is the case with most of you, I rarely have one day of my weekend to clean, never mind two. So, in the knowledge that I won’t be able to do the room perfectly, I just don’t do it (I also have a dust allergy so cleaning isn’t the funnest thing to do. I also am lazy).


 

The same applies to pretty much every area of my life. I achieve my vision entirely or I give up on it after getting confused and frustrated (and frustration, for me, often equals tears. My boyfriend will vouch for me on that one). It’s like I fall into the rift between the real and the ideal… And it’s not willingly! I feel like I hit a brick wall sometimes – I can feel the task at hand slipping through my fingers despite my best efforts. I know this sounds SERIOUSLY DRAMATIC but it is quite annoying.

Luckily, I’m not too bad with blog posts. I am a journalist, so I’ve had plenty of practice, but I throw so many blog post ideas out of the window because they won’t be perfect in my eyes.

There are also things I’d love to open up on here about but am scared to in case I don’t do it eloquently enough… OK this is turning into a therapy session. Before I have a total meltdown, here are 10 struggles of being a lazy perfectionist:

1. You have sky-high standards and nowhere near enough motivation to achieve them. This leaves you not trying and generally you end up in bed watching Netflix (or Amazon Prime, which happens to be my preferred TV-bingeing method).

 

2. Hobbies come and go at an alarming rate. If you’re going to take something up, you want to be perfect within days of starting. If I don’t inspire hopes of Olympic standards within a month, I’m done. Why bother?

3. Your poor email inbox is confused. One minute, you have two emails because THE INBOX SHOULD BE EMPTY AND YOU CAN’T STAND ALL THOSE EMAILS JUST SITTING THERE LOOKING AT YOU. The next minute, 6,000. Oops?


4. You think personality quizzes just don’t work. Because you’re basically every type of personality. Am I motivated? You’re going to have to expand. Do I pay attention to detail? Depends on the day. Am I concentrated? Sometimes I’ll forget to breathe I’m so concentrated, other times I’ll forget what I’m…


via GIPHY

5. You’re constantly torn between wanting to do absolutely everything, and wanting to do absolutely nothing. It’s exhausting.

6. Fitness is a constant battle. I would LOVE to be one of those girls who goes to the gym twice a week and doesn’t think about it anymore, but I JUST CAN’T. I either exercise twice a day six days a week (I’ll be restless on my day off) or I completely forget how to run.

7. Diet is a similar struggle. Lazy perfectionists, I reckon, are the ultimate yo-yo dieters. I’m all or nothing. I’ll either eat you out of house and home, or sip cabbage soup for a week.

8. Cramming becomes your best friend. Luckily, I don’t have to do exams anymore. But when I did, I was the self-professed queen of cramming. As a lazy person, I put off studying for as long as possible, but once the exam got closer and the perfectionist side of me took over, I would pull panicked all-nighters and spend every spare minute trying to cram my poor brain with information.


9. You have every intention of making an effort with your appearance, but sleeping takes over and you wake up 15 minutes before leaving the house. So you end up with unbrushed hair, sloppily applied mascara and yesterday’s clothes. And then you just hate yourself.

10. To-Do lists are bitter sweet. On one hand you love them (making them, mainly), on the other hand you despise them and their very existence.

 

Can anyone else relate to this?! Tell me I’m not alone!

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  • Elizabeth
    March 17, 2016 at 9:35 pm

    5. You’re constantly torn between wanting to do absolutely everything, and wanting to do absolutely nothing. It’s exhausting.

    This a million, zillion times!

  • Toya
    March 17, 2016 at 10:40 pm

    I could not wait to read this! Yes I am a Lazy Perfectionist! You had me at cleaning your room 🙂 I have begun keeping a list and sticking to it and found a little motivation of seeing all of my “Bright Ideas” completed. But the struggle can be real sometimes…lol. I have two blogs, one about my toddler – the other fashion and design that is empty because of exactly what you wrote. Its not up to my standards, am i ready to share!?! As you can see you sparked a light in me! Thanks for showing me that I am not alone! Smiles 🙂

  • Margarida
    March 17, 2016 at 11:24 pm

    OMG that is me! 100% me!!! It’s só hard to explain to other people bc it applies to other areas of my life as well! When I was young my mother used to take pictures of my room after I tidied it up so I wouldn’t forget what it looked like. That really pissed me off eventhough she meant well I’m sure! And lists!!! Such double edged swords!!! Just discovered your insta and just had to leave you some love from a fellow “lazy perfeccionist”

  • A Hussain
    February 28, 2017 at 4:14 pm

    Oh my god, finally, people who get it! I thought I was alone in the world. Being like this frustrates me to tears sometimes, because my perfectionist side wants me to get up ASAP and shift my booty, while my lazy side feels like a pile of melted goo who ain’t moving for an earthquake….

  • m
    March 10, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    This describes my life accurately and I’m struggling. I honestly don’t know what to do about it.

  • vesper
    March 16, 2017 at 6:31 am

    Everything on this list is just me, down to the freaking punctuation. As someone who is usually not surprised by the most extreme things, I have to say I am beyond surprised. And would do anything to get out of this situation, then again…

  • Cibele Porto
    March 17, 2017 at 1:38 pm

    OMG…
    this is so me. And I am a Gemini, which I believe to make things even worse. hahaaaa
    I love this post.