Lazy perfectionist – bit of an oxymoron, right? But it is a thing, I promise, and it is me to a T – ‘all or nothing’ might as well be my second name. I’m obsessed with perfection, but can’t quite get myself together enough to strive for it…
And this is the thing – if it’s not going to be perfect, I don’t want to do it. For example, when I clean my room, I have to do EVERYTHING – a huge clearout, sorting of absolutely everything, hoovering, polishing, moving every piece of furniture so that I have caught every piece of dirt… And once all that is done, I’ll be quite happy (I’m never totally satisfied) but it will have taken up the whole of my weekend.
Now, as is the case with most of you, I rarely have one day of my weekend to clean, never mind two. So, in the knowledge that I won’t be able to do the room perfectly, I just don’t do it (I also have a dust allergy so cleaning isn’t the funnest thing to do. I also am lazy).
The same applies to pretty much every area of my life. I achieve my vision entirely or I give up on it after getting confused and frustrated (and frustration, for me, often equals tears. My boyfriend will vouch for me on that one). It’s like I fall into the rift between the real and the ideal… And it’s not willingly! I feel like I hit a brick wall sometimes – I can feel the task at hand slipping through my fingers despite my best efforts. I know this sounds SERIOUSLY DRAMATIC but it is quite annoying.
Luckily, I’m not too bad with blog posts. I am a journalist, so I’ve had plenty of practice, but I throw so many blog post ideas out of the window because they won’t be perfect in my eyes.
There are also things I’d love to open up on here about but am scared to in case I don’t do it eloquently enough… OK this is turning into a therapy session. Before I have a total meltdown, here are 10 struggles of being a lazy perfectionist:
1. You have sky-high standards and nowhere near enough motivation to achieve them. This leaves you not trying and generally you end up in bed watching Netflix (or Amazon Prime, which happens to be my preferred TV-bingeing method).
2. Hobbies come and go at an alarming rate. If you’re going to take something up, you want to be perfect within days of starting. If I don’t inspire hopes of Olympic standards within a month, I’m done. Why bother?
5. You’re constantly torn between wanting to do absolutely everything, and wanting to do absolutely nothing. It’s exhausting.
6. Fitness is a constant battle. I would LOVE to be one of those girls who goes to the gym twice a week and doesn’t think about it anymore, but I JUST CAN’T. I either exercise twice a day six days a week (I’ll be restless on my day off) or I completely forget how to run.
9. You have every intention of making an effort with your appearance, but sleeping takes over and you wake up 15 minutes before leaving the house. So you end up with unbrushed hair, sloppily applied mascara and yesterday’s clothes. And then you just hate yourself.
Can anyone else relate to this?! Tell me I’m not alone!